An "Oklahoma!" Christmas

Over four years in the making and born from the haunting strains of a spring high school musical, finally, Christmas lyrics to some of the songs from the musical "Oklahoma!"


IT'S A CELESTIAL WARNING
(Sung to the tune of "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!)


There’s a bright golden star in the heavens.
There’s a bright golden star in the heavens.
The shimmering star is a beautiful sight,
And it looks like Judea is under its light!

It’s a celestial warning,
That’s what the magi will say.
They’ve got a magical feeling,
That star is pointing the way.




ON THE ROAD TO JUDEA
(Sung to the tune of "Surrey With The Fringe On Top")


When I hit the road for Judea
Load my camel up and say, “see ya”
On my way toward Nazarea, guided by a star,
Will I meet a mage from another
Land, a sage and star-watching brother?
Will we travel on with each other to a land afar?

The road is dusty and the ride is hard,
But I’ll cross desert and valley.
No mountain so high and no river so wide
It can make me dither or dally.

Where’s the bright new star gonna lead us?
Where’s the bright new star gonna lead us?
Where’s the bright new star gonna lead us? Will it take us far?
On the road to Judea being led by a star!




EVERYONE MUST BE COUNTED IN JUDEA
(Sung to the tune of "Everything's Up-To-Date In Kansas City)


Everyone must be counted in Judea;
They must go to the places of their birth.
We Romans need a census, so we can tax you right.
We want to see exactly what you’re worth.
So hit the road, and head back to your birthplace.
We just don’t care how far you have to go!
Get yourself a donkey, load up your pregnant wife.
We really couldn’t care less if we disrupt your life.
So suck it up, and don’t you whine about your pain and strife!
We just don’t care how far you have to go! (No sir!)
We just don’t care how far you have to go!




I'M JUST A SHEPHERD ON THE HILL
(Sung to the tune of "I'm Just a Girl Who Cain't Say No")


I’m just a shepherd on the hill,
Watching the sheep safely graze.
Nights can be boring; it’s so still!
I’d sure prefer working days.

Then one night, while I am guarding sheep,
A host of angels tells me I should go!
I should leave my sheep, and leave my lambs,
And find the babe beneath the heavenly glow!

Now I’m a shepherd who feels ill.
I should have stayed with my sheep!
I knew that baby would keep.
Now I’m in doo-doo so deep!
A bitter pill!




THE ROMAN AND THE CHRISTIAN SHOULD BE FRIENDS
(Sung to the tune of "The Farmer and the Cowman Should Be Friends")


The Roman and the Christian should be friends.
Oh, the Roman and the Christian should be friends.
One man likes to pull his sword;
The other praises Christ the Lord,
But that’s no reason why they can’t be friends.

Everyone in Rome should stick together,
Everyone in Rome should practice Zen.
Don’t throw stones at the soldier’s horses!
Don’t toss folks in the lion’s den!




OH, CHRIST IS BORN
(Sung to the tune of "Poor Jud Is Dead")


Oh, Christ is born.
Jesus Christ is born.
All gather round his manger now and pray.
There is frankincense and gold
And a drummer boy so bold
All for the baby lying in the hay.
Yes, sir. Bring myrrh.


OH, JUDEA!
(Sung to the tune of Oklahoma!)


Oh, Judea, where the Father sent his only son
To be born of Earth, a virgin birth
And we’re pretty sure the only one!
Oh, Judea, now the world will never be the same
For the Son of God this earth has trod
Now we do weird things to praise His name!
Like dragging a pine through the hall,
Or shopping like mad at the mall.
And when we say, "Hey! I'll pay another day!"
We're only saying, "Shop til you drop, oh Judea,
Oh Judea, let's play!”

Platitudes

Hope springs eternal
Hope springs eternal
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
How much longer must I wait
To be stronger?

Survival of the fittest
Survival of the fittest
They say that it's natural selection
Here's my question: Will I know
When I've evolved?

Love is the answer
Hate is a cancer
They say the greatest cure is in our laughter
That's what I'm after, to be cured
And self-assured


We live and learn, sometimes we grieve
We raise our children, watch them leave

We lose our fathers and our mothers
Leave our sisters, bury brothers

One more goodbye
A weary sigh
Now move along
Life goes on


To every thing there is a season
To every thing there is a season
The cosmos is beyond my comprehension
To what dimension will my soul
Achieve ascension?

What goes around, comes around
What goes around, comes around
The world, so often good, contains such evil
Causing upheaval of my faith
Beyond retrieval

Life is what you make it
Life is what you make it
They say the meek among us will endure
I'm not so sure that they are right
Stand up and fight
With all your might.

Her twisted sense of humor...

Her crooked little glasses
Slip down her crooked nose.
Sitting on her crooked spine,
She curls her crooked toes.

Her loudly clicking knee joints
Along with clicking jaws
Will join the clicking symphony
Of all her clicking flaws.

She passes out in bathrooms.
She passes gas in bed,
Then passes on each odd idea
That passes through her head.

She flashes glares of warning
As her damn hot flashes strike,
And won’t care whom she flashes
As she strips when flashes spike.

She writes her thoughts in journals
And she writes a blog to share.
She writes in stream of consciousness,
And sometimes writes with flair

How ends this senseless rhyming?
What ends this silly trend?
How can the ends be tied up?
It ends like this: The End.